Archive for the ‘2.0 (idlling)’ category

Wonder Woman Sings You’re Moving Out Today

March 3, 2008

Kirstie and I watched this with open mouths at the weekend.

We’re familiar with the Carole Bayer Sager version…  And while looking for that (don’t ask) came upon this gem from long-time-Wonder Woman Lynda Carter

We could not look away. 
Enjoy!

NEEDLE RATING  2.0 (idling)

I Have Never Groomed My Brows

February 27, 2008

Someone noticed, and laughed, at my eyebrows.  This is a guy, to another guy, in a meeting.

 it is an eyebrow

He’s a friend – we go back years – so I asked, “what… you… pluck yours?”

Sure – don’t you?

Well, clearly not.  I’m not ready to pluck.  I don’t see what I’d gain by removing hair there.  It’s essence of my manhood.  Or, I’m terrified they wouldn’t grow back.  So here is my list of heroes — I am proud to be among your ranks. 

Denis Healey4.  Billie Piper
3.  Brooke Shields
2.  Denis Healey
1.  Animal

26.JPGNEEDLE RATING… 2.6 (idling)

“Once, Twice, Three Times a lady debited by amazon.co.uk”

December 4, 2007

Just received this email from Kirstie.

I’m worried about her mental health.  I may have passsed something on to her.

——————————————————————————–
From: kirstie @ xxxxx.xx.uk 
Sent: 04 December 2007 15:22
To: neil @ xxxxx.xx.uk
Subject: RE: maybe you might be interested in this

Am having a ‘to do’ with Amazon now. They claim they cannot take the money from my card and that I should check it and change my card details to another one; BUT they have already taken money out for this order – three times for different products!
I am adding them to my bad customer service list:

Bad list
Amazon (their hi-tech ‘call me back’ system doesn’t work and their automated message is not adequate, and for hiding their customer service details in a random place)
PC World Tech Guys (you know the long story)
Anyone who takes over 10 weeks to make a sofa and charges you for it in advance: Sofa Workshop, DFS

Good list
Egg.com (a helpful person answered the telephone (not a machine) and in the UK, and she knew what I was talking about)
CD Baby (for sending me a lovely message – I will shop there again)
John Lewis (for not charging in advance for a sofa and for replacing broken washing machine no questions asked)
Vodafone (for not rushing my call to make their figures look good)

These are just recent interactions of course but at the moment, the good list is outweighing the bad, which is quite positive.
K xxx
—————————————-

Never Have So Few Given For So Many…

November 7, 2007

Bloody poppies.

They never last more than 12 minutes.

They’re always trying to escape.

Lest we forget.

NEEDLE RATING 3.2

Pant Audit

October 25, 2007

It happens less frequently than the Olympics.

Let the pant audit begin

I know what my heavy rotation pants are – they’re all in the wash.
So why can’t I throw out the others.
I don’t want them.  I don’t need them.
I cannot cast them aside.

They’ve been good to me.

Die Calvin Klein Die! 

I will terminate one of them.  So that the others might live.

28.JPGNEEDLE RATING…  2.9 (idling)

Our Two Toilet Rolls – FINAL

October 24, 2007

So what was the outcome of the toilet roll race…

Latest from the toilet - New rolls!

Well, it was 4 – 4 – a rough draw. 
Though I don’t think you can have a rough draw in a contest involving quilted toilet tissue.
Surprisingly, it was Kirstie who had stayed on top of the scores – being the all-knowing master of time space and dimension of anything to do with anything happening around the house.

She said that the normal paper – “mine” – ran out marginally first, but graciously put that down to male stand-up friend who visits regularly (the house, not a toilet term) probably choosing mine over hers.

Only noticed this morning that we’ve kept the two-toilet roll thing going. 
Even more disturbed by the fact I still know which one is mine.

26.JPGNEEDLE RATING…  2.0 (idling)

Pill Roulette

October 12, 2007

Kirstie’s come off the pill.  We went through a turbulent few months (during the run up to the move, funnily enough).  Maybe it was due to me going through some sympathy hormonal mood swings.  Who knows.

Kirstie used to map out the timescale if we were to want children… 
How long it would take her body to eradicate a “sex-life-time of being on The Pill” from her womb. 
(A statistic backed up by every nodding thirty-something woman friend).
And then she would rather helpfully act out how our children would look the longer we leave it to reproduce.

I’m no doctor, Kirstie, are THESE your Pills? Isn't it a Pez Dispenser?

It even got to the point of her complaining about a batch of The Pill which didn’t have the days of the week printed on the packets.  Like I’m keeping track.  She could have been taking Peanut Butter M&M’s for all I knew.
So anyway, she’s off now, and we’re both really happy about that.

It puts us in a new category.  We wouldn’t say we’re “trying” for a baby.  I suppose we’re not trying not to.  There’s no convenient phrase to use for this, which is frustrating – why’s everyone asking anyway?28.JPG

And why isn’t there a phrase for “not not trying” for a kid?

NEEDLE RATING…  2.8 (idling)