Archive for the ‘companies’ category

The Kim Jong-Il look is IN!

October 5, 2007

I’m no fashion guru.

Proof of this is (click) here.

Ann Taylor Catalog Model

But there’s no greater sign of peace breaking out in the Koreas TODAY (here)   than this latest design from the ANN TAYLOR catalogue (here) in the US.

Chairman Kim Jong-Il of North Korea

The Chairman Kim Jong-Il khaki jumpsuit look is IN!

Ann Taylor Catalogue Model celebrating victory

“Three tabbed pockets means you’ll never lose those launch codes, generous belted waist for your 38th parallel…
…the weekend jacket perfect for any Demilitarized Zone or Pyongyang Parade.” 

“Dear Leader” - Chairman Kim Jong-Il

Everyone win!

26.JPGNEEDLE RATING… 2.0 (idling)


We Bought Some Windows Last Night

October 3, 2007

We bought windows last night.  Six grand’s worth.

We convert stuff we do during the day into plastic and glass which we put into the walls of our house.

26.JPGThey look like they’ll be quite nice.

NEEDLE RATING…  2.0 (idling)

Buying A TV

May 7, 2007

We’re currently spending our free time looking for a new television set for the house.

This is an area I happily admit that I am a bit too fussy.

Although it has been Kirstie who is most vexed with our current TV arrangements.  All she wants, all she’s ever wanted, is to be able to come home, press a switch and for the TV to work.

And because we’ve… sorry… I’ve… not sorted out how we’ll connect them… (Special Thanks, by the way, to Sky TV Customer Services, for charging us for the month in which we waited for them not to connect us – and then giving us a 30 day notice period where we’ll continue to pay with no connection to either “see, speak, surf”)

So what we’ve got at the moment, is a collection of small portables around the house, which are all hooked up in different ways.
Kirstie’s eyes don’t just glaze over when I explain why the Freeview box needs turning off and on again, or what may cause the interference to the videosender for the box in the kitchen…  They turn angry.

“Why can’t I just… turn on the TV, and for it to just… work.”

I think it’s a frustration that most women have with men. 
Why can’t we keep things simple? 
A really easy to use portable – which isn’t the focus of the room – which supplies television instantly – without ever the need for more than one remote control.

I can’t answer that.

But I thought we’d get closer to solving our tv problems by going out to buy a new one for the living room.

I started off looking at the 42 inch screens. 
Apparently, this is too big and unnecessary.
I tried arguing the point, and even pitching a romantic scene where we could snuggle up, and turn our lounge into our very own home cinema.
But it was trumped by one very simple argument:-

“The people’s heads can’t be bigger than ours. 
It’s just weird.
I don’t want to be watching EastEnders, and have their faces all bigger than mine.  Come on, that’d be a terrible thing to get through”.

TV that we have seen.  It’s a Samsung LCD.And, you know, she’s right.  So it’s now our only guiding rule in looking for a screen, – which unfortunately pushes us towards the 32 inch models.

I would feel completely emasculated. 
I have, after all, lost 10 inches.
But I think we’ve gained a good compromise… and neutralised the potential threat of Kate Thornton’s giant square face bearing down and scaring us one night.

2.9NEEDLE RATING… 2.9  (idling)

How Long Does It Take To Make A Sofa, Anyway???

May 2, 2007

Sofa1We’ve bought a new sofa for the new house.

Actually, we bought it at the end of February.

This is it – in the store.  The guy in John Lewis was really helpful (and even took my lame observation that it must be great having a job where you get to sit around on sofas all day with a good-humoured reaction that didn’t give away that he’d probably heard that a thousand times a month).
All good.

sofa2But it was only after leaving the store that we realised we’d left on the sentence “Of course, it should be ready for delivery in 6-8 weeks”.  Naturally.
Hang on.

It’s something we all know – because sofas take 6-8 weeks to make, don’t they.
Is this the only retail industry that makes things one at a time, once it’s been paid for?
Like a burger order in a Wimpy restaurant?  I don’t get it.  They only make them in 3 colours. 
Would it kill them to… I don’t know… make just one extra?  Someone’s gonna buy it.  Aren’t they?

That person will be delighted they’re not going to wait 6-8 weeks to get it, and the sofa factory can get on with getting another one ready.

Maybe that’s the reason why.  It’s pretty unlikely that a sofa factory ever gets repeat business.  (It’s a fact that your average sofa factory is never going to get repeat business).

sofa3Once you get it – that’s it – they’re pretty much around for life.
Like this one.  We needed something so we’re not sitting around on the floor for the next two months.  We were down at the local tip and saw this beauty.

They charged us a tenner (don’t ask – the council has set up some kind of car boot sale style stall next to all the bins.  Sunday afternoons at the Dump are a like a community event down our way – they even queue to get in)

But we didn’t have to wait 6-8 weeks for it.

3.1NEEDLE RATING…  3.1 (increased revs, grating)

Robert Dyas

March 25, 2007

20070327_147robertdyas.JPGThe greatest single aspect of moving has without doubt been the excuse to spend wh-ay too much time in ROBERT DYAS.

Robert Dyas shops to me are like Accessorize and Monsoon are to my girlfriend.  Stuffed full of sockets and leads and gadgets, mainly gadgets.  Not even cool ones.  Just things like kitchen appliances no more complicated than “juicer” or “slow cooker” – things which are there solely to get the job done.

I bet Robert Dyas is a really cool guy to hang around with.  I like to think he’d offer to help hold the spirit level when I’m trying to put up the new Rotary Dryer in the garden.
But I expect he’d be too busy putting up shelves or something.

Hallway light, not fixed, and blown all lights on the floorI tried putting up a light fitting last week, and managed to trip the entire ground floor lighting circuit.  I just needed some time to pace (up and down, in the darkness) and have a little think before diving in again with a screwdriver.

Trying to be helpful, my girlfriend blurted out something  – she knew what she had done the moment she hit the penultimate syllable, and you could actually see the judder in her face as she tried to stop the sentence:-
“Hey, Caroline (my sister) is coming over later.  Maybe Jeff (my brother-in-law) could take a look at it – he’s good at (realises here) el… electrical… things”

The reason she stuttered was that she realised she was effectively saying “why dont you come round Accessorize with me, and pick out some nice hair bands, then we can spend the afternoon trying on clothes “.

My New Clean Drill BitGuys never ask for help.
Accepting help is a last resort.  It’s, pretty much, an admission of failure of one’s gender.  It allows all the other hunters to laugh, and say, you go over there for a bit – we’ll sort it out.

I think Kirstie felt guilty – I found my drill bit in the washing up.  Maybe she cleaned it for me.
Least, that’s what I’d like to think.

30.JPGNEEDLE RATING…   3.1 (increased revs, grating)