Archive for the ‘house’ category

Pant Audit

October 25, 2007

It happens less frequently than the Olympics.

Let the pant audit begin

I know what my heavy rotation pants are – they’re all in the wash.
So why can’t I throw out the others.
I don’t want them.  I don’t need them.
I cannot cast them aside.

They’ve been good to me.

Die Calvin Klein Die! 

I will terminate one of them.  So that the others might live.

28.JPGNEEDLE RATING…  2.9 (idling)


Recycling Woes #2

October 9, 2007

I tear off our name and address from every piece of mail before throwing it away.

I think it’s one of “those things” – which doesn’t piss Kirstie off yet, but together will form the ever-growing list of things that she tolerates. 

NEEDLE RATING… 2.0 (idling)

I’m Living Like A Retired Man

October 8, 2007

I’m between contracts at the moment, and living like a retired man.
I am a 35 year old living like a 61 year old retired man.

Today I did some pottering out the back, and started taking down the willow tree at the bottom of the garden. 

Willow Tree Massacre

Kirstie is convinced that the roots will penetrate the sewer just next to it, as it is well on the way to running under the house and bringing that down too.

So here I am snipping away.  And Kirstie will see bringing it this far either as an achievement, or testament to a colossal waste of time.

She’ll either choose to see me as a virulent man who can harness nature, and can handle himself with basic forestry skills.

Or a loser with too much time… and secateurs… on his hands.

Can’t wait to also show her my “decorative bundle of willow” I’ve made for the living room.

26.JPGNEEDLE RATING… 2.6 (idling)

Pic Of The Tick For The Blog

October 4, 2007

Soon as the lights go out every night this week, we are kept awake by a high pitched whine. 

bugsplatTurns out, it’s not me. 

It’s a bug.  And we won’t get any sleep until I’ve whacked it.

Every night a new bug.

I always get them over the bed – there are so many splats that when you look up, our ceiling looks like it’s covered in those luminous glow-in-the-dark stars that teenagers stick up, but in reverse. 

bug splats on the ceiling

I tried taking a picture of a live one so you could see, but as they’ve been biting us, I’ve been more keen to destroy them before we start to look like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.
We wondered aloud if they ever bitten someone with the Aids.
Or one of the Foot-And-Mouth cows not so far away.

the bug in our room

Tonight, I got close enough to one to get this picture.
Kirstie heard the silence and called out from the other room.

Whatch’ya dooin’?”  She said.
Hang on, I’m just taking a picture of a tick on the mobile for the blog…

There was a pause.
You know… ten years ago, none of those words would make any sense.
Though, ten years ago, we wouldn’t’ve even known each other

Plus I don’t think its a tick. 
It’s too big.  Maybe its a horsefly.

3.9NEEDLE RATING…  3.9  (increased revs, grating)

We Bought Some Windows Last Night

October 3, 2007

We bought windows last night.  Six grand’s worth.

We convert stuff we do during the day into plastic and glass which we put into the walls of our house.

26.JPGThey look like they’ll be quite nice.

NEEDLE RATING…  2.0 (idling)

Recycling Woes #1

October 2, 2007

Last night I washed out a tin can last night to put out for the recycling.  I put it on the drainer to dry.



Then Kirstie threw it away.

Recycling - Reconstruction - AFTER


As I thought about the eight seconds I’d just wasted, I got a warm feeling thinking that Saving the Planet is effectively in the hands of the Obsessive Compulsives…

28.JPGNEEDLE RATING…  2.8 (idling)

Our Two Toilet Rolls – UPDATE

September 29, 2007

toilet roll update

1 – 1.  But Kirstie’s away for a few days, so I could catch up with her round the bend.

26.JPGNEEDLE RATING… 2.0 (idling)